16. Energy

'For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood' Eph 6:12

Peachy

I met her at an event in Shoreditch nearly 4 years ago.

By 2020, she was on my emergency contacts list; if the world was ending, she would be one of the first people I would call. I have an ‘apocalypse check-list’ because of her.

Solar powered radio/flashlight, swiss army pocket knife, fire blanket and first aid kit.

Life as I knew it changed forever. She was my best friend and we were enmeshed.

I could gauge what mood she woke up in based on how she shuffled out of bed. Her tone of voice matching the different version of herself she showed up as that day. I could name them all her personalities.

everything is everything

In the space of three weeks, I’ve had three back-to-back dreams about her. When relationships like this end, sometimes my dream space gets really ramped up. In one dream her back was turned to me. In another dream she was speaking to me directly. It was lucid, clear and linear. It’s not uncommon for me to get messages this way (pisces moon).

Sometimes it’s meaningless, abstract nothings and sometimes it’s you calling to them or them calling to you…

where two or three are gathered in my name – Matthew 18:20

Did you know it’s not strange for me to speak about someone, and then them instantly reach out to me (or the person I was speaking about them with)? It’s silly this still surprises me. This is a conjuring. Sometimes we conjure unconsciously...

Because of this, I’m mindful about actually saying the name of people I’m not trying to summon. I’ll use a nickname or a descriptor.

I believe words are spells.

the heart is a portal

On Monday, while at my desk, I felt waves of nostalgia and longing out of nowhere. My heart was doing that thing again. I shifted in my chair and did gentle circular motions on my chest. I figured it was because I was singing angsty pop ballads, so I changed the playlist. Suddenly, a message popped up on my phone. It was the magician. I smiled. My heart vibrated. We hadn’t spoken in weeks. We do this tiring dance a lot (for many reasons).

We spoke on the phone for 9 hours that day (uninterrupted).

No-one ever really dies

I guess what I’m saying is, I believe we are all connected and that yes, they can feel it too (even if they don’t perceive or understand).

If you have really met me – I mean really met my heart, I believe there is a place we can meet beyond form. There is also a time to let the connection live on beyond the body. I don’t know the level of control we have over this, but there are things to help.

Even if I never see you again physically and our realities no longer collide, energy is energy is energy…

Credit: the art divination deck

words: 11:11 – Sunday Dinner on a Monday

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Have you experienced anything like this before?

Does your body speak to you?

Do you know what is you and what isn’t you?

Do you believe that there is a world beyond physical form?