Every morning, after the sunlight gently rouses me, I pass the vision board that sits on my bookshelf and faces me in my bed. It’s a cork board meant for pinned notices, and I like how real it is. Physical. Not digitised. Something to help reality bending a bit more tangible.
Every morning, my eyes briefly graze the selection of carefully sourced images (picked from old magazines and Pinterest boards). There are faces of people on a long table, faces lit by dim candlelight, wine glass stained cloth, disposable cameras and dinner plates. There are beaches and caves and long mountainous roads stretching into the desert.
I remember the night I made it; I sat hunched over near the foot of my bed and stuck them on with pritt stick, dragging words of affirmation in cursive over scraps of paper.
‘Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables’*
Yesterday I attended a shamanic meditation for the spring equinox. The host, pregnant, glowing and full of warmth lead us in several visualisation techniques. I paused. Sometimes I’m a little wary being vulnerable in predominantly white, middle class spaces, especially when spirit should be involved, but I lowered my guard. I suspended judgement. Flesh and flesh and beating hearts.
‘Check the source of your visualisations – are they coming from ego. The things you should want, or are they in alignment with your soul?’
Sometimes I let my body be still, tuning into the light impulse of my heartbeat. Sometimes I forget that feelings and heart carry the echo of God’s whisper, and when the undesirable ones arise I shut them down. I let my mind run rampant.. Sometimes it can feel so hard – so out of reach.
Oh, comparison, you old thief….
Today, I am sat in front of a DJ controller. My friend randomly handed it to me a few minutes before I left his house last week. ‘It’s a spare' – you can borrow it?’
I only realised how identical this was to the model on my vision board when I got back home.
Is that all it really takes?
Happy new year xox