I want to start by saying this particular letter is going to regulate me (and hopefully you).
I type this with anxiety surging through me - heart racing - mind resisting the inevitable. I am hunched over my laptop occasionally glancing up at the people floating by. There is a storm brewing inside.
It’s eclipse season. I am not OK. Here is the break-up, there is the rupture and I am at capacity.
( I have been here for longer than I can admit).
What I do know. When the air cools and I don’t cling so tightly - when I can examine my defects and the all of the things with compassion and understanding. When I can hold it in my body; let it hang around the flesh; let it exist without wanting to escape my skin. When I lean into my mutability and allow for the clarity… my heart says:
You are not in control
Your calluses haven’t formed - you are still clinging
You wonder why this is painful
Here’s what honesty feels like in the body - it is uncomfortable, but let it guide you
It has been saying ‘enough!’ for months
You are doing your best; better than you’ve ever done
Love is expanding you; continue to let it
You are closer to the thing you think is outside of you
Let things fall
Let them fall again
We will be alright xo