71. Worrying about money when the world is burning
here come January with the bull
It only took 9 days into the start of the new year before my money worries reared its head.
I’m quite proud of this fact, though, because last year a quick look at my bank account brought me to my knees, so a small cry and a nap is better (in comparison).
The tell-tell signs of my jitters is doom scrolling and waking up randomly at 3am, and then being unable to sleep. More mindless scrolling and then some youtube videos to make me feel better.
My Instagram feed is a rich shade of coral and crimson. Countless videos of raging fires eating through cars, palm trees and living rooms.
There are forest animals disorientated and afraid. Innumerable mutual aid and donation links. Black squares and white writing.
‘we have to start all over again’
In my part of London, there is a rent control rally planned for spring. There are employed people entering food banks (I’ve been to a couple; I should know), there is a crowdfund for an artists’ stolen tech equipment to make up for years’ worth of solid work and future commissions.
Someone didn’t get an approval on a mortgage. Someone is still grieving their breakup. Someone has lost a job. Someone just feels sad.
“There are hungry children . . . not everyone has a smartphone.” – Arabella, I may Destroy you
image credit: BBC’s ‘I may destroy you’, by Michaela Cole
Sometimes our personal problems can feel indulgent when hospitals are being bombed or people’s entire livelihood cremated in ash.
I hesitated on posting anything today because it felt inconsequential, but decided against it, because whether it is or it isn’t?
… it is all relative.
May we all bear witness to our collective pain and pass through this wild ride with strength, courage, clarity, deep deep love and deep deep compassion.
Till next time xo
links mentioned:
https://bio.site/lafireresources
https://londonrentersunion.org/2024/rent-control-rally-21st-march/
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